Archive for November, 2008
November 29th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
It is a well known fact that men and women have different kinds of skin, and they are often plagued by different kinds of skin problems. However, there are also common skin problems that both sexes encounter, and one of these is acne. Skin care for acne prone men may be slightly different from the women’s in a few distinct ways. While women are more prone to acne due the make-up and lotions they put on their faces or skin, men are prone to acne because of the activities that they indulge in, and also certain factors in their environments.
Finding the right kind of skin care for acne prone men is actually not that hard, and it is actually somewhat similar to what women would do to get the products that will effectively make their skin clean and healthy. One of the things that both sexes share when it comes to taking care of acne problems is the cleansing and maintenance of the skin. The kind of products you use to take care of acne prone skin is also important. Always use a mild kind of skin care product when you are cleansing your skin, and you should very well avoid scrubbing. Since men are usually used to scrubbing, they should remember that the right skin care for acne prone men requires that they do not scrub the acne prone parts of the skin to avoid breakouts. Another tip that men will do well to follow is to clean their faces with their fingertips only. While some men may think that this cleansing method may be a bit too feminine for their masculine tendencies, it is one of the right things to do if they truly want to have proper skin care.
While men may not wear makeup on their faces, there are some who will use certain male cosmetic items that may come in contact with their skin. Included in the list of cosmetic items that men should be careful of are aftershave lotions or splashes that may contain certain substances that can cause acne, hair gel or hair spray or any hair styling substances, shaving cream that is not non-comedogenic, and facial cleansers and toners that may cause breakout. You may also need to consult a dermatologist to get the right kind of skin care products that can be used as proper skin care for acne prone men.
Also associated with the dos and don’ts of skin care for acne prone men is the method by which men shave themselves. Carelessly shaving off facial hair can scrape or nick certain acne lesions, and this can cause possible scarring. If shaving is unavoidable, you can use safer methods of shaving, like using electric razors or making sure that the hair you are about to shave off is soft enough for easy shaving.
Milos Pesic is an expert in the field of Skin Care and has helped thousands of acne sufferers cure their condition. He runs a highly popular and comprehensive Acne Treatment web site. For more articles and resources on Skin Care related topics, Acne Treatments, Natural Skin Care Products and much more visit his site at:
=>http://allacne.info/
November 29th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
That’s an interesting question isn’t it. Do men like fragrances, and would they like to be given a perfume as a gift?
Most men, I think it’s true to say, like fragrances, or perfumes, worn by their women. But would they like to wear a perfume themselves?
A lot of men do wear perfumes now, even if they’re not aware of it. What is an aftershave for example, but a perfume with another name? It’s just a masculine perfume, or smell.
And what about deodorants? They have a fragrance don’t they? So there are many men out there who wear a fragrance and aren’t bothered by it.
But what about giving a male perfume to him as a gift? Well that’s a little different I suppose. Because it’s a perfume, not an aftershave.
But I wear one from time to time, and like it.
So I think that the bottom line is that some men will appreciate a male perfume for a gift, but that it’s the womans job to find out whether her man is one of those who would enjoy it.
Next question. What type of perfume? Now I’m not going to start recommending brand name perfumes, because I don’t know a lot about them, and anyway, a perfume is a personal choice. However if you are going to buy him a fragrance so that you can give him a perfume as a gift you need to start with a cheap perfume. Just to see how he takes it.
After all you don’t want to spend a bomb just to find he’s not interested.
There are plenty of cheap perfumes available, there are lots of places where you can get discounted brand name perfumes at prices that would surprise you, both for mens and for womens perfumes.
So start with a discount perfume for your man, see what his reaction is, and take it from there.
For a website totally dedicated to Cheap Perfumes visit Peter’s Website The Cheap Perfumes Supermarket and find out about Womens Fragrances and more, including cheap womens and mens perfumes.
November 28th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
Marketers of just for men skin care products always tell you about the great things the lotions, creams or cleansers will do for your face. Let me tell you about some of the bad things these “health and beauty aids” can do.
Even natural skin care for men can include ingredients that are not safe. For example, one of the “organic” sunscreens is oxybenzone. Over two years ago, researchers were able to prove that the compound causes changes in DNA, increased free radical production and can cause cancer.
But, that doesn’t mean that manufacturers stopped using it. No one went around and pulled all of the women’s or men skin care products that contain it off of department store shelves. There was no national recall. Nothing – it’s still out there.
It is basically left up to the consumer to protect himself and it’s difficult to do when you don’t know what’s really in that bottle.
Truly safe and natural skin care for men should contain the same things that we eat; protein, fatty acids, vitamins and antioxidants. Things like olive, avocado and macadamia oils are completely safe and naturally moisturizing.
They are more similar the skin’s own sebum than the cheap moisturizers like petrolatum and mineral oil. Daily moisturizing is a must for men skin care products, but you also need cleansing.
Orange oil is one of the safest and most effective cleansers on the market. If you have exceptionally sensitive skin, though, you may want to look for colloidal oatmeal cleansers.
Witch hazel extract is a good ingredient for natural skin care for men who shave daily. It’s the best aftershave you can choose, as it’s non-irritating, but prevents infections in cuts and scrapes. It soothes irritation and damage, helps heal sunburn and is beneficial for treating eczema and psoriasis.
Vitamin B5 is important to look for in men skin care products. It helps repair tissue damage, as from shaving, sun or wind exposure. It moisturizes and enhances the tanning process. A light tan protects the deeper, more sensitive layers from free radicals and UV damage.
Grape seed oil is sometimes found in natural skin care for men. It’s not as common as olive oil, but it is a better moisturizer for the face. You may have never heard of it, but it’s becoming increasingly popular for low fat diets, as less oil is needed for cooking and less is absorbed by the food.
Grape seed oil is a good natural skin care for men, not only because it’s an effective moisturizer, but also because it forms an invisible film that keeps dirt and grime out of the pores. It’s a preferred ingredient for damaged and stressed tissue (another shaving issue) and it supports the natural rejuvenation process.
Grape seed oil also contains the necessary fatty acids needed for the skin’s health and can even be used as a shaving lubricant. There are many wonderful men skin care products on the market today. Just remember to shop carefully and if you don’t recognize an ingredient, look it up, before you buy it.
Kylie Reed: Dedicated to finding, using and researching skin care products which will reverse and/or slow the aging process by rejuvenating our skin naturally, healthfully and affordably!
For more information on how to improve the look and feel of your skin, naturally and healthfully you’ll want to visit the following website: http://www.radiant-and-clear-skin-site.com
November 27th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
I started looking for the best natural skin care cream because I have allergies and cannot tolerate heavy fragrances. The best skin creams for me are those that are not scented and have no added fragrance. Maybe, you want perfume in your lotion, but not me.
For many years, it was hard to find a good lotion for a man. Some cosmetic companies started making some products, but the only difference between what they had for men and what they had for women was the fragrance.
You might use aftershave or a dab of cologne, so why would skincare products contain any fragrance. The best natural skin care cream works for both men and women. The only fragrance is what naturally accompanies some of the ingredients.
The best skin creams will conquer dryness and can slow the signs of aging. They allow the body to produce more new cells, which leads to the production of new collagen and elastin fibers.
In order to help your body do this, the best natural skin care cream contains protein. The skin is actually a tightly woven mesh of amino acid proteins. Keratin is one of them.
You will see the ingredient listed in some of the popular brands, but the type that they used is not processed correctly and it cannot be used easily by the skin’s cells. But researchers in New Zealand have discovered that the keratin in wool is very similar to that of the human body.
Through a patented process, they created an ingredient called Functional Keratin, which is readily available for use by the skin. Only the best skin creams contain it. None of the major brands have it yet. And, it’s doubtful that they will, because it is an expensive ingredient and they prefer to use cheaper compounds, like fragrance, petrolatum and paraffin wax.
Another of the protein building blocks in the skin’s fibers is hyaluronic acid. Research has shown that the level of this protein in the skin’s layers lowers dramatically as we age. Now, they have learned that an enzyme breaks the protein down and leads to the reduced levels.
The best natural skin care cream contains a type of kelp that inhibits the activity of the enzyme, so levels of hyaluronic acid naturally increase with use. This has been proven to increase the skin’s elasticity, as well as heal irritation and relieve dry skin.
Cosmetic companies do not make the best skin creams, because they do not think of the skin’s health. Many of these companies have been in business for years and they continue to use the same tired ineffective ingredients that they offered to our grandparents.
I decided to look for something new. I decided to look for a different kind of company. The best natural skin care cream, in my opinion, is made by a health supplement company in New Zealand.
The products are not more expensive than the designer brands and the quality is a lot better. Plus there’s no added fragrance and they guarantee your satisfaction. What more could you ask for?
Michiele Lee is a passionate and dedicated Researcher/writer which focused in assisting consumers on money saving tips and information on anti aging Skin care,Beauty and Health Products. She share her research,tips and information on her website http://www.Health-and-skin-care-site.com If you find those tips relating to Skin care,Beauty and Health useful, visit now to learn more… http://www.Health-and-Skin-Care-Site.com
November 27th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
Everybody makes a mystery out of dating, an ordinary everyday activity that is performed by millions of people on this earth. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. WHY is it that hard for some people to go on dates then? Is it because they are ugly? Sometimes yes, most of the times no.
Here are 3 rules of thumb that can change your dating life upside down.
The first Rule of dating is, “Don’t be too shy to approach”
Most people who don’t go on dates fail with the first step. They either lack self confidence or they build up a dark deep castle of thoughts what might go wrong in case they approach that certain person. First of all, dating is casual, everybody should do it- it’s nothing bad, if it would be bad you probably wouldn’t be here on earth. No one cares about what you do, besides yourself. People are approached everyday, some get through, some are rejected, it’s not that it matters. It’s all about yourself and that you feel comfortable approaching other people. In case you are really bad, start out small, ask for the time or something on occasion. Find a good pickup line and learn to approach. It’s not bad if you fail, you can always learn.
The second Rule of thumb is, “Be well groomed.”
Easy said, easy done- as long as you are not allergic to water, after-shave and eau de toilette you should be knowing what you do. And while you are at it, take a friend who you think has style to go shopping with you. It might help to find you clothes that are more attractive and make you look better.
The third Rule of dating is, “It’s not bad if you fail.”
Learn to live an interesting life and be happy. Get some cool hobbies and experience new things. Dating usually is about listening and telling good stories, and learning how to get closer and break the ice, but this is not the issue here. The more interesting your life is, the more stories you will have to tell. And in case you are into bits and bytes you have the hard time to find someone else who is into that as well, most people don’t think it’s the most interesting thing on the planet.
Max is writing for several dating related sites. Learn to approach people with easy Pick-up Lines, but don’t stop there and find out how your next date can be a killer date.
November 26th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
The art of seducing a woman is easier than it sounds. Advertisers may tell you that you need the right aftershave, the right car or the right brand of clothes, but in fact the surface details are surprisingly unimportant.
I’m about to explain to you exactly what does matter when it comes to seducing your date. By following my five point plan, any man, regardless of income or appearance, can dramatically improve his chances of taking that girl to bed.
Step 1. Get her Interested
Whatever your intentions, you’re not going to get anywhere with a woman unless you can get her to like you.
There’s nothing more attractive to a girl than being found attractive. Make it clear you’re into her by being open, attentive and considerate. Hold doors for her, pay the bill, and focus on what she’s saying to you.
Keep your conversation light hearted and entertaining, and look for points of common interest. Shared hobbies and similar outlooks make things a whole lot easier, but don’t feel you have fake it; if you genuinely don’t have anything in common, distract her by asking lots of questions.
Step 2. Get Physical
As the evening progresses, start looking for excuses to touch her. Emphasize a point by brushing your fingers against hers. Empathize with her stories by placing your hand upon her arm. Brush stray hairs from her eyes or rub crumbs from the side of her mouth.
Lean away from her slightly, and watch as she subconsciously leans towards you – you know that she wants to be near you.
Step 3. Go Somewhere Quiet
Wait until the very last moment to suggest you head home together. Perhaps you are having a coffee after the meal, or you’ve just left the restaurant and are wondering what to do next. Tell her you’re having a wonderful time with her and that you don’t want the evening to end.
If she doesn’t invite you back to her place, don’t be discouraged. If she has already shown an interest in your guitar, your indie film collection or your pet iguana, invite her round for a look. Otherwise, ask if she cares to come over for coffee.
Step 4. Start with a Kiss
By this point your date will be tingling with anticipation – and the longer you make her wait for that first kiss, the more excited she’ll be.
Build up to the kiss slowly and seductively. Sit yourself next to her with your body turned fully towards her. Lean in slightly and move your gaze from eye to eye and down to her mouth. Really take your time with this.
When neither of you can wait any longer, kiss her. Be gentle, but firm. Tongues should be darting, not smothering. Put your fingers in her hair or your hand on her cheek. Pay attention to her pace and technique and alter yours to match.
Step 5. The Slow Seduction
Girls love to kiss, so take your time. When you are ready to move on, begin stroking her hair or her face. Run your fingers down her arms or along her legs. Put one hand in the small of her back and press her gently towards you.
Begin kissing her face and nibbling her neck. Run your hands up the side of her body and feel her pressing herself closer. Only when you can’t bear it any longer, slide your hand up to her chest or slip the tips of your fingers inside her clothes.
The trick to seduction is to always make the woman feel amazing. Treat her well, gaze at her adoringly and you’ll both have a night to remember.
Want to learn 50 WAYS for approaching, attracting and seducing women? If so, take a look at Scott Patterson’s Free eBook which provides 50 tips for instant dating success.
November 21st, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
I am often approached by women who are at the end of their marital rope. Usually in hushed tones, or with pained faces, they confess “I don’t think my husband loves me anymore.” Some are afraid that divorce is on the horizon, while some are just sad because the marriage is no longer as close or as intimate as they once remembered or enjoyed. Some of these women are basing their suspicions on a feeling they have, or a vibe that their husband is giving off. Some notice that their husbands no longer pay attention to them, flirt with them, or spend as much time with them anymore. Some of the husbands have hinted or told the wives that they no longer love them, and some of the husbands insist that they do still deeply adore their wives, but their actions are saying something else entirely.
In this article, I will offer tips for wives who fear that their husbands no longer love them, but first, I want to reassure you that I very much doubt your worst fears are true. I find it highly unlikely that there is no love left. I’ll tell you why in this article.
The Love Between A Husband And A Wife Is Often Compromised But Not Altogether Lost: The society in which we live is hard on marriage. Make no mistake about it – our mobile lifestyles, our jobs, our children, our aging parents, and our other close relationships all compete with your spouse for our time and attention. Contrast this to a time when your love was shiny and new, and there’s no denying that times have changed. This often means that your relationship changes as well, and this is not always a positive thing.
When people first fall deeply in love, they are overwhelmed with positive feelings that are often the result of the time, attention, and care that the other person offers up to them. This often results in feelings of intimacy, confidence, competence. You feel attractive, alive, cared for, and worthy. In short, you feel like you belong – and that nothing else matters but you and your loved one. This is a great place to be and, when you marry, it’s very common to think that you will always feel this way.
So, when the kids come along, and the work commitments begin to bog you down, it’s very easy to become bitterly disappointed. Although you may not realize it, you mourn what was lost – especially if there is little communication or working together to get it back. Worse, these wonderful feelings of belonging, of knowing what the other person is thinking or wanting by a simple glance or gesture, are usually lessening as well.
But, let’s stop the doom and gloom right now – because it doesn’t have to be this way. Please understand that this is absolutely reversible. The bottom line is that in essence, it’s not that your husband doesn’t love you anymore – it’s that he’s disenchanted with the marriage – because it is no longer producing the powerful feelings that it once did. Yes, this hurts. But, it’s better to understand this, because you can now fix it.
Getting The Love Of Your Husband Back: Before I go in to tips to help you get your husband’s love back, first I want you to take a hard look at your own actions. I don’t mean to place any blame here. Please understand that is not my intention at all. I know you’re committed, on board, and that you love your husband or you wouldn’t have found this article. But, sometimes our feelings don’t mirror our actions. Ask yourself how similar the woman you are today is to the woman your spouse fell in love with.
I don’t mean looks. I don’t mean age. I’m not even talking about sex or chemistry. I’m talking about the woman who looked deeply into his eyes, laughed at his jokes (even the bad ones), cared deeply about his challenges, and cheered all of his accomplishments. You may not believe me when I say this, but it is true. Men care more about how you make them feel than about how you look. They want some one who values them, who “gets” them, and who cares deeply about their happiness and their walk through life.
So, when you want your husband to show you more affection, make absolutely sure that you are doing everything you can to genuinely show him yours. I don’t mean putting on an act or acting needy or insincere. I mean giving him a hug when he walks in the door. I mean really listening to what he is saying and allowing the give and take of conversation about things other than day to day life. I mean doing little things to make his life easier and show him that you care. I mean showing him that you respect yourself enough to value and seek out your own happiness.
Physical gestures (or a lack thereof) can greatly contribute to the health of your marriage as well. How often do you touch your husband in intimate ways? (Again, not sex, but that’s important too.) I’m talking about light hearted back rubs, brushing his arm, putting your arms around his waist, etc. These things only take a second and they make a huge different in feeling close in your marriage.
Usually at this point in the conversation someone will say “well, this sounds good, but we’re past that now. My husband will think I’m up to something if I act this way.” Or, “we’re not young and naive any more. ” My answer is always something like “Yes, it may feel strange at first, but if you keep at it, eventually, your husband is not going to complain. He will be happy to have what he loves back. Bit by bit, things will get better and you’ll get more of what you want too.” This is true. I promise. As he feels loved and valued again, he will give this back to you.
Once you’ve concentrated on returning the person he loves, try to focus a bit on the things and settings that you both used to love. So often, we let the fun and joy seep from our lives because we feel our responsibilities have to come first. But, what good is the job, the house, or the 401K if you don’t have the love of your life as a happy, equal and fulfilled partner in all of these things? In truth, nothing should matter to you as much as your family. No matter what you perceive as the state or your marriage or as your husband’s love for you (or the lack of it) it can always be changed. And it is always worth the effort.
I really wish I had known this before my own husband checked out of our marriage. Neglect and misunderstandings (and my own pride) were taking a serious toll. Luckily, I was able to drastically change my thinking and my actions. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/
November 20th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
Is my husband cheating on me? This is a question that many women silently ask themselves each day. As women we all seem to have an inner instinct that lets us know when our spouse isn’t being faithful. You obviously can’t confront him based on instinct alone so it’s important to be aware of the warning signs that suggest that your husband has taken on a lover.
One of the signs of a cheating husband is a sudden change in his appearance. This happened to me with my man and it really did leave me wondering is my husband cheating. He bought several new pieces of clothes, tried a new hairstyle and suddenly decided he needed to lose a substantial amount of weight. Nothing between us had changed so I knew that he wasn’t doing all this for my benefit. If your husband has taken an interest in how he looks, don’t just assume it’s because he wants to look better for himself.
A husband who changes his schedule because he claims work has gotten very busy may actually be spending his time with another woman. This is one of the reasons why I started to wonder is my husband cheating. If your husband is like mine, he goes to work at relatively the same time each day and comes home at the same time each night. If that shifts and he says he needs to work late, don’t ignore it. An easy way to verify that he is indeed working is to call him there. Don’t call his cell because he can claim to be at work, instead call his work number directly. You can take it a step further by going to see him at work in the evening. This will let you know whether he is or isn’t there.
It’s often hard to know whether your husband is indeed committing adultery. Many men can have a long term affair without anyone suspecting a thing. In fact, seventy percent of married women have no idea when their husband is having an affair. For telltale signs of a cheating husband, and how to get irrefutable and undeniable proof of the affair within moments visit this helpful site.
Although the aftermath of finding out whether or not your husband is cheating can be devastating, it’s much better to know. You owe it to yourself and your children to know the truth.
November 20th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
The shift in the dynamic of a marriage can occur very slowly over time. In fact, some women don’t recognize the change in how their husbands feel until they hear from him that he’s not sure he’s still in love. It’s devastating to hear this if you think that everything is good in the relationship. Naturally many couples decide to separate and eventually divorce when the husband has a change of feelings. This isn’t the only solution though. There are steps you can take to get your husband to love you again.
Most women want to solve relationship problems as soon as they pop up. If you know that your husband is feeling differently about you it’s natural to want to talk through things with him. You want to know what went wrong and what you can do now to get your husband to love you again. The reality is that your husband may need time to think. Men, regardless of how long they’ve been married, become irritated when the woman in their lives won’t give them the space they need. If your husband tells you that he needs some space, give it to him. He’ll appreciate that you respect his need for it, and it will show him how much you value him.
One very important thing to do if you want to get your husband to love you again is to try and determine when things changed between you. In most relationships the shift in feelings is a very gradual one, but it did begin somewhere. It may have been after you had children or when he started a new job that caused him extra stress. If you can retrace the steps back to that point, you can rebuild the relationship. Address any problems you two are having and commit to compromise. If you want to get close to your husband again you have to put any negativity aside and embrace what is right about the relationship.
Specific things you do and say can compel your husband to fall in love with you all over again. Saying or doing the wrong thing can actually cause him to feel even more distant from you. If you want your husband to fall even deeper in love with you now than when you two first married, visit this helpful site
You don’t have to worry about whether your husband is on the brink of asking you for a divorce. You can control the situation and use specific techniques to naturally make him fall hopelessly in love with you. Find out here what you need to be doing to ensure your husband loves you always.
November 19th, 2008 -- Posted in Article |
In the past, I’ve told my story about how I saved my own marriage and I often write articles that offer advice on how to do this in your own marriage. A couple of days ago, I received an email from a wife who had been married for well over a decade. She shared with me that, over the last couple of years, she has felt her husband slipping away. She told me that her husband ” spends less time at home, doesn’t show me nearly as much affection, makes excuses not to spend time with me, and generally just tunes me out or ignores me.”
She said that when she has tried to mention this to him, he becomes defensive and this results in a big, blowout fight that pushes him further away. Of course, she’s very frustrated and scared. She’s afraid that, at best, she’s heading for a loveless marriage and at worst, she’s headed for divorce. She asked for my “best advice on saving this broken marriage” and that is what I offered. But, I also know that many women feel exactly this same way, and are in very similar situations. So, this is my response in a nutshell.
Don’t To Make Drastic Changes That Won’t Come Off As Genuine: So many wives in this situation feel that they have to do something drastic to get their husband’s attention. So, they put on a big, non typical show of love, affection, and attention, or they offer up ultimatums, get very aggressive, or act in a way that is not usual or becoming of them.
There are two problems with this. The first is that the husband knows that this is your last ditch effort and he usually doesn’t believe you because he knows that you are trying to manipulate him. Or, your overly aggressive chasing, begging, arguing, or strong arming only makes you seem more unstable and more undesirable and pushes your husband further away from you.
There are a few ways that you can avoid this in the future. The first is to always be very conscious of the message that your actions are sending to your husband. The aggressive, angry, and strong arming tactic is really saying: “what’s wrong with you? why are you doing this to me? who do you think you are to want to change things or to be happy?” No one wants to hear this message. I’m sure that you don’t realize this is what your actions are saying, but this is what he is hearing. So in response, your husband is going to block your efforts.
Likewise, the desperate, begging, or overly compensating actions are really saying “I can’t live without you. I’m not strong or self sufficient.” And, these things are very unattractive to men. So, if you’ve taken either or these tactics, think about abandoning them, because in my experience and research, they rarely work long term.
The Best Approach To Save Your Marriage: So, now that I’ve shown you what doesn’t work, I want to share with you what does. The message that you want to send to your husband, with both your actions and your words, is meant to relieve the tension, put you on the same side, and reaffirm to your husband that he, and your marriage are you highest priority, (although you fully intend to leave your dignity and respect intact.)
So, however you say it, whether with words or with actions – the message you want to send is “I have noticed a distance and I too, have become disappointed with the course of our marriage. I too see that we are no longer as close as we were and I want to change that. We both deserve to be happy and I know, from our past, that we can be very happy together. However, we don’t know what the future holds. So, no matter where our relationship is going, I want to focus on improving it – even if I don’t get the outcome I want. I know that this will take more effort, more time, and more attention than we have both been giving. For my part, I intend to change that. I know that you may not believe this now, but I think that in time you will see by my actions that I mean it. You are too important to me to continue on this way. I know I can’t control your thoughts or feelings, but I can control my own actions and I intend to.”
Making Good On Your Promises: This may sound harsh, but I believe it’s better to know the truth. I interview many husbands for my articles and they basically all tell me the same thing. They check out of their marriages because they feel their needs haven’t been met (or even noticed) for a long while. They may have tried to ask for more time or attention, but for whatever reason, they feel they haven’t been heard, so they stop communicating and they shut down. This unfortunate process contributes to them tuning you out because in their mind nothing ever changes or improves. Until you show them otherwise, expect that they won’t believe you and that at first, things won’t change overnight.
But, as you begin to make good on your promise that your actions will help rather than hurt your interactions with one another, you’ll likely notice a shift. Once you start to respect yourself enough to do the things that make you happy and fulfilled so you have something to give back, and once you begin to stop holding on so tightly to the future and start concentrating on just today, you’ll notice a discernible difference.
Your husband will start to suspect that maybe things can change after all. Maybe you do mean it. You’re no longer engaging and arguing. You’re not trying to get a commitment or have deep discussions. You’re just focusing on having positive experiences and interactions. You’re taking it one day at a time. You’re a lot nicer to be around and you’re not trying to manipulate him.
Little by little, he’s going to start seeing glimpses of the two people who once loved each other very much. The shadow of the woman he first fell in love with will start to become something he can touch and see. The negative expectations and experiences will start to give way to positive ones. He’ll eventually stop blocking you and will start being receptive again.
These things won’t happen overnight. It will take time to rebuild the trust, but the first step is changing course and abandoning what isn’t working. This may seem risky at first, but it really isn’t. Sometimes you have to shake things up to get a different outcome. The same old thing hasn’t been working. It’s time to try something new.
Unfortunately, I almost waited too long to change my actions when my husband had checked out of our marriage and was no longer in love with me. Making things better took a lot of effort on my part, but it was so worth it. I was eventually able to return the love and intimacy, and save the marriage. You can read my very personal story on my blog at http://isavedmymarriage.com/
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